I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
