Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
