So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
