it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
