Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
