If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
