He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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