the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
