I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
