mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
