Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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