my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
