How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
