I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
