READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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