Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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