We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
