You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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