If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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