I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
PS: I just woke up from my shower
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
as a side note pls kill me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
