I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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