Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
