Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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