I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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