so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
