So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
