Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My penis needs a shock collar
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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