so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
