highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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