Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
