forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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