For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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