Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
