Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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