I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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