I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
