lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
