He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
