If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
