Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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