Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
