she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
