hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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