you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
