The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
