how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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