Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
