Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
