He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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