In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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