dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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