remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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