I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
