i was born a porn star she said
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize