we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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