angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
