My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize