we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize