Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
