i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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