hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
