Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
last night I used snow as a chaser
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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